How to Heal and Bring Closure by Writing a Book
How the process of writing a book about your problems can help you overcome them.
Writing a book can be a daunting task. It will require time, effort, commitment, it will take time away from your other tasks and hobbies. But what if in the process of writing a book you heal your wounds and bring closure to your suffering?
Say you have a major problem, one that holds you from living happily — and say you decide to write a book about it. How would that help you and what would it look like?
Sure, you have alternatives! You could do nothing or go to a therapist — and talk your problem in depth for years, or you could read books on the topic — indefinitely! You could also try to talk it out with some friends, some of whom do want to help but are, well, incompetent really. Or you could develop some sort of addiction to numb your emotions — think of food or shopping.
You could also consider writing a book! Why? Because of the process you will go through while doing it, which will help you tremendously!
The Process
1. Clarify and decide what problem you are addressing in your book.
This is the moment where you clarify the exact problem you have dealt with, that you will now help your readers solve. Your target is to make it as close to a SMART goal as possible, be able to measure progress in both yourself and your readers.
It could be something you have already solved, but it can also be something you are still in the process of treating!
If it is something you have already fixed, then the process will go so much smoother! You will only have to go back in time and structure how you have solved your problem so that you can share it in your book. Yes, you might still have to learn the basics of writing a book, but you will be able to focus on that part directly.
If your problem is still something you are working on solving, then this step will help you:
- nail down what it is you are going after
- what it is you have already solved and what you still have to work on
This step can be so revealing! You might uncover the problem you considered solved is actually still present! You might uncover that your “big” problem was made of a concoction of multiple smaller issues, some of which you’ve solved, and some of which you haven’t!
2. Think about your audience, your readers, and try to help them too
Generally speaking, helping others is one of the most rewarding human experiences. We already know that doing it helps us back by making us feel good!
Since the process of writing a book is something you do for an audience, for your readers, you have to go back on memory lane and figure out what precisely worked for you. Your own healing journey will be the path prescribed to your readers.
If we make the connection with the process we use to learn anything, what you will be applying now is called “spaced repetition”. Going back and thinking once more of each method that helped you heal will further consolidate your own knowledge on the subject.
There is great value in revisiting your own healing path and methods — all with the extra goal of helping others.
3. Plan out your book’s outline
Planning the outline of any book means working your way back from your topic/problem to the basic blocks of how you solved it. You will also be considering how to measure people’s progress, which will take you back to what your own process has been, how you measured it, and what progress you might still want to make!
As you are going back and retrieve the solutions that worked for you, you will put together the picture of your own journey — what worked and in what order. You decipher this journey for others to follow in your steps.
A non-fiction book must have a particular structure — anywhere from 3 to 7 main parts, with each part containing 3 to 5 chapters.
Breaking your own problem into its constituent parts and structuring them in a cohesive, logical succession of steps will help you better understand yourself. You will inevitably ask questions, you will see where you have been and where you are now.
As you further consider what you could include in each chapter, you will continue your healing journey, bringing closure to some parts, while finding inspiration and motivation to continue working on healing others.
4. Write each chapter
For each chapter, you will most likely use the same structure. Imagine the one below:
- Explanation of the problem the chapter will tackle
- Provide your solution
- Include personal story and other examples
- Provide a to-do list for people
- Describe ways to measure progress, some KPIs to monitor (think SMART goals)
- Maybe debate alternative solutions and detail why they didn’t work for you
- Conclude and relate to the following chapter
Writing any book chapter requires some introspection, deep analysis, and research.
Psychologically speaking, this process is very similar to using journaling as a process of gaining understanding and awareness in your life, but it is much more powerful because you know someone else will read it so you will give your best. It’s one thing to only reason for yourself, to keep your thoughts for yourself, and it’s a completely different thing to expose your thinking to the outside world, in written form! So, you will use the power of journaling, coupled with social accountability and social pressure to solve your own issues and structure your thoughts!
Also, since our brains strive to be authentic, you will not feel good if you were to lie about your own healing — which means you will feel more motivated and inspired to go and fix your own problem! Can you see how many benefits this method has?!
5. Conclude and edit
Obviously, each book needs a conclusion, which means a summary of the issue your book addresses and of all the effective solutions you will have provided.
Also, the final process of editing your book will make you go back and rewrite multiple times everything you’ve written.
This will be your moment of closure! By now you will have most likely solved your problem and will feel completely different!
More Benefits to You of Writing a Book
Obviously writing a book has a lot more benefits.
- First, you will learn what it takes to write a book — you will research how to write one, how to structure, and how to publish it. It will introduce you to a whole new world you didn’t know existed.
- Second, you will automatically improve your writing.
- Third, you might make online friends if you start an online community around the topic of your book.
- Fourth, you may even make money, if being a published author is appealing to you. Depending on the topic you address you might end up helping people outside the context of your book, by doing coaching, mentoring, or creating other types of offerings.
Final Note
By now you may have realized I have taken this path myself. After long deliberations, I have decided to end a certain chapter of my life by performing the “ceremony” of writing a book. I am not an author, I am an engineer with issues I’ve managed to solve. I am convinced that once I am done documenting my journey I will feel much better, and much more confident, and, hopefully, I will have helped others along their own journeys.
I hope you consider taking this path too, for your own benefit!
